Thursday, September 29, 2005

Hello Group!

Hello Commitments Group! Once I receive everyone's email from Jen (our Group Leader) I'm going to send them an invite to post to this blog. I also encourage others to join the blog (unless someone in our group thinks otherwise).

Clarity is hard to see when my eyes are closed! Time to open my eyes!

Commitments:
to run a marathon on January 29, 2006
being a proud gay man
restoring my credit
acknowledging when I'm running a racket and giving it up!
being honest to myself
being free and independent
being 26 years old

What are yours??

3 Comments:

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Thomas said...

My commitments:
being in shape
being free (as in no guilt, voices, feeling of incompletion, w/o dishonesty)
commitment to learning (languages, philosophy, about people, about myself)
creating security for me and those I love (as in place to live, food, peace of mind, financial security)
to take care of my cat

Strangely, my life pattern shows that I am not committed to some things I consider universally important. However, they do not make me happier if I try to have them as a part of my life.
I'm NOT committed to:
Fun (I rate is as second or third when compared to work and other obligations)
Relationships (If it works, the desire is there, but commitment isn't. I consider relationships to be perishable goods)
Friends (I have friends I am committed to, but same as relationships, it is not up to me only)
Stability (I like stability, but will rattle my own cage every now and than to feel alive)
Money (I am committed to having what I needs, but I do not spend much time wanting to be "rich")

So the NO Commitments reveal "things to work on". Please tell me what you think. Is my happiness diminished by having no commitments in these areas?

 
At 2:33 PM, Blogger Leigh said...

Thomas, I'm so glad you brought up the "lack of commitment" conversation. You mentioned this at the end of one of our partner sharing exercises last night, but we had to stop before I could comment. (And I knew I'd get into big trouble if I had a side conversation with you!)

Regarding fun, do you HAVE to have a commitment to it? I suspect that work and survival are at the top of most of our lists. I have trouble having fun if work is looming over me. And, I find that I spend more time on work when I'm less committed to it, curiously. That is, if I haven't been 100% "on" at work, I have a tendency to do more or spend more time working to compensate for that. (There's that guilt thing...) Frankly, I think you are actually a fun-loving person. It was YOU, remember, who organized the after-work drinks, and that was BIG fun! Also, I notice that you are committed to learning, and that could definitely fall under the "fun" category.

Regarding relationships, you can comfort yourself in knowing that you're WAAAAAAY ahead of me on that score. (It takes talent to completely avoid relationships.) You're in one now; I'm not. Also, you are committed to taking care of your cat, and that is definintely a relationship. I do not have a cat...or even a goldfish. :-) Okay, so...I'm going to put myself on the line here...are you really saying that you have not been satisfied in the relationships you've had? I suspect that satisfaction can't be had unless you go "full-tilt-boogie" and don't hold back. No fear. No expectations. (I'm freaking myself out here!!!)

About your question, "Is my happiness dininished by having no commitments in these areas?"...If you were happy, you wouldn't be asking the question, right?

(My son would probably tell you that it was interesting growing up with a mother who "always has something to say!")

By the way, I love your openness.

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger Thomas said...

Nothing wrong with always having something to say. (Wrong!?) It's a way to hear our own stories. As long as we *hear* them and see the dif between authenitic and non-authentic ones.

I'm wondering about the self-imposed limits in the committemts beacuse I want to be more self expressed and more happy. But, how do we know our limits if all we know is the "historical values"? In other words, I am questioning the conventional logic vs what feels right (or seems like it).

But, Leigh is right: I have FUN doing what I do. BUT, I also burn muself out. Hmmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmmm!

Thus, the advanced course. :o)

 

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